This Post is one very dear to my heart. I have never shared this story before with anyone, just kind of held it close to my heart. I veiwed it as something special between God, me, and the others involved. I feel God is allowing me to tell it now in hopes that it will help someone out there.
I love this song, the words just seem so powerful to me. I apoligize for the video, but I wasn't able to find just the music for this post. I think most often as Christians, we have no problem asking God to take over with our big decisions. That tends to be easy, but what about the smaller ones?? The ones we seem to think are unimportant? When I first heard this song, a boy named Mark came to mind. This is my story of Mark and I when Jesus had the wheel. Please press play and continue reading.
I was probably around the age of 15, I hadn't known the Lord for very long at all. Probably only a year or so before I had asked Him into my life. Anyway, I had heard a message Sunday night at church about letting God have total control over our lives. The preacher talked about how God wants us to include him in EVERYTHING. As I went to school that Monday morning, I felt something pushing me to try it. I started praying about everywhere I went that day. I asked God to show me the direction He wanted me to take to get to my next class, how slow or fast he wanted me to walk, I mean EVERYTHING!!! A little much you might think, maybe so, but I was having the best time doing what I thought I was supposed to.
At lunch, I stopped at the doors, and said my quick prayer for God to give me direction on where I was supposed to sit. I usually sat with the "cool" kids right in the middle of the room. I fit in good there, always having a joke, or something funny to talk about. But after I prayed today, I opened my eyes and saw an empty table across the room, kind of by itself, and I knew God was telling me to sit there. I reluctantly sat thinking, "Ok Lord, but it's gonna be a long lunch period."
About that time, this boy came over and sat across from me, eyes never looking up at mine. I had seen this kid around, everyone knew who he was. His name was Mark, and you could look at him and tell he had quite a few medical problems going on, both physically and mentally. Most of the kids just made fun of him, tripping him in the halls, calling him names, that kind of thing. We all remember what school was like. Anyway, I decided to speak to him, telling him my name, and asking how he was doing, he never looked up, but he answered all my questions, seeming cautious, but nice none the less. When the bell rang, we stood up, a guy walked by and knocked the tray out of Mark's hands, I jumped on the boy, giving him an ear-full of what I thought and then stayed and helped Mark clean it up.
Over the next few months, I got to know Mark fairly well. I explained to those I used to sit with that he was cool, and we returned where I used to sit, Mark always sitting right beside me. I learned he had something going on in his brain that kept him from playing any kind of physical sports, and also had struggled with mental illnesses as well. When I tried to talk to him about Jesus, he became angry and told me not to mention it, he didn't believe God loved him. If He did, why did God allow him to have the problems he had?? The only reply I gave him was, "God told me to sit at your table." because he often told me I was his only friend.
Six months later, Mark just disappeared. I had not seen him at school for over 2 weeks. I decided to go to his house to make sure he was ok. His mom answered the door and informed me that Mark had passed away due to his medical problems. When I told her I was sorry, she looked at me and asked, "Your Rev aren't you??" When I said yes, she grabbed me and hugged me tight, thanking me. She began to tell me how Mark came home that first time we'd met and told her all about me. How he used to hate to go to school, but since we had met, he had no complaints. He had showed her my picture in the yearbook, thats how she knew who I was. She told me that Mark had asked her into his room the day before he died, and asked her to show him how to be saved!! After they prayed, he looked at his mom and asked, "Would you please tell Rev thank you? And tell him I'll see him again soon one day."
You see, at the time I thought it was stupid to ask God what He wanted with EVERY little thing. But because I was willing to try it, God turned my "little decision" into something awesome!! I have dropped the ball, so to speak, many times on this issue. I could do so much better on asking God what he wanted me to do with the little things. But I know God can do some wonderful things if we just sit in the passenger seat and let Him do the driving!!
All of us, in one way or another, have been hurt in our lives. Some deeper than others, but a hurt is a hurt, none the less. I think a lot of comparisons can be made with our emotional hurts and our physical hurts, like this one, they all leave scars. Some you are able to see, some not so much, but you know they are still there. It's how we deal with these scars that can make a big difference in our lives.
About 2 years ago, I broke my finger in a church-league basketball game. When I finally decided I should go to the doctor (I waited about a week, telling myself it wasn't broke), I found out that the bone was splintered and my finger had slid down some, actually making that finger shorter than it was supposed to be. Surgery was the only way to fix this. They had to go in and screw those pieces of bone back together. To be perfectly honest about it, I think I hurt worse after the surgery than before.
2 weeks after my surgery, I was told I would need rehab to regain the strength and mobility that I had before my injury. To those who have had rehab before, you know it's just a way of saying, "I'm going to pay you to hurt me." I asked them why I needed it, I mean it was just a finger, right? They told me that if I didn't, the scar would harden, and I would not be able to move my finger much at all once the bone healed. And it would always be extremely weaker than the rest of my fingers. There was also that chance of never regaining the feeling in my hand either. So I went, week after week, doing different exercises and therapies to further strengthen my finger. At first I felt like I was gonna die, certain exercises causing so much pain, I didn't know if I would get through them. But finally I got to hear those words, "Your doing wonderful! You'll be fine not coming back here, good luck to you." I was thrilled to say the least!! My finger didn't hurt anymore to move it. It was just as strong as my other one according to the tests. I had made it!!
You see, often times we get hurt in our lives, and I think a lot of people are afraid to deal with the scar thats left behind. There is too much work involved, or too much pain, or whatever the reason may be. We decide to favor it, not use that part thats been injured. We try to hide it so that others won't know it's there, this scar that makes us seem ugly and unwanted to others. But it doesn't change the fact that it is there. And when we do that, we lose the full potential of that part of us. It stiffens, becomes hard, and an inability to feel. It must be dealt with, rehabilitated, healed. When we do, we will be able to let go of the injury, not be impaired by it, but be better from it. The scar is still there, but it will feel like the rest of you feels, have the same strength, and movement . Isn't it worth it in the end??
What scars do you have? Are they healed completely or have you been favoring them? Limping along, learning how to deal with the weakness instead of trying to make it stronger?
If we will work on our scars of life, we can live a full life, instead of only limping by.
I've been thinking a lot this week, about my friends and what they mean to me. Someone once told me that you should consider yourself "lucky" if you can count to five the number of people in your life that you consider a "true friend." Well, I have been extremely blessed in this area as I think of those I have the privilege of calling friend. Many of whom I have known since grade-school. We may not talk a lot, random sometimes at best, but I know I can call them if I need them and they would be here at the drop of a hat. This is a tribute to you all, those still around and to those I've lost along the way. I treasure our friendship and hold you very dear to my heart.
“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'”unknown
“There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want.”unknown
“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”unknown
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”Bernard Meltzer
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”Elisabeth Foley
“true friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.”pinkjelloshot
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.”
Gloria Naylor
A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.”unknown
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.” Henri Nouwen
“Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.”unknown
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”Walter Winchell
“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun.” Charles R. Swindoll
“True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for awhile. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die they're never dead in your heart.”unknown
This post was inspired by another post I read yesterday at one of my favorite blogs, "Looking for Truth". I wonder why we guys have so much trouble expressing to our loved ones what we feel. I like to think of myself as a pretty open guy, yet when it comes to my wife and letting her know how I feel about her, the words get lost somewhere between my brain and mouth. You see, the only thing that will bring about change is love. The only way to spread love is to let it out. I've decided to write a love letter to my wife as a post, in hopes of inspiring others to perhaps tell their loved one how they feel. I challenge you as you read this to think about what your significant other means to you. Isn't it about time you let him/her know it??
My Love Letter To My Wife
Thank you for being in my life. I think back to when we first met and what a total mess I was. Confused about things, trying to run from others. I know for awhile I was pretty tough to handle, but I don't think there's another on earth that could have done it like you did. The compassion you showed to me made me open my world to you, let you in. I had never done that before. For the first time in my life I could just be me, it was going to be ok. You helped me deal with things in my life that I don't know I would have ever done on my own. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I don't think I have ever told you that before.
The last ten years have been the best I have ever had. I think back to our wedding day. I love looking at our pictures like the one above. You were gorgeous!! I remember you walking down aisle, and I couldn't take my eyes off of you. To this day I can't tell you who all came to the wedding. I don't think I ever took my eyes off of you the entire ceremony. I was in awe that an angel like you could be willing to marry me.
I still feel the same today if not more so. You are absolutely beautiful. I've searched and searched, but there are no words to express the gratitude and love that I feel for you and all I see for our family. Thank you for sticking in there with me, for loving me, for being my best friend. I sometimes wonder what did I do to deserve the love of a woman like you. You made me want to be a better person back then, you make me want to be a better person now. Not because I have to be, but because I want to be the kind of man I feel you deserve. I don't think I'll ever get to that point where I can look and say that about myself, but I promise you I will NEVER quit striving to reach that goal. You have my heart baby, you have my life. I will always be here for you.
I love the way we never got out of that "giggle" phase. How we have the best times together and with our children. I know I don't tell you all this as much as I should. For that I am so sorry, I will try and do better. I am so looking forward to growing old with you, to watch our children grow together and to move on to what life God has chosen for them. To be an elder couple walking on the beach hand in hand, enjoying the love they've shared over the course of their lives.
I have no idea what life may have in store for us in the future, but I want you to know, I am and always will be a better man because you loved me. Thank you for that from the bottom of my heart......
Your Loving Husband, Rev
To the rest that might be reading this, what could you say to your husband/wife today? Sometimes it's just nice to hear, you know? One more pic from our wedding, (these two are some of my favorites)
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I asked them why I needed it, I mean it was just a finger, right? They told me that if I didn't, the scar would harden, and I would not be able to move my finger much at all once the bone healed. And it would always be extremely weaker than the rest of my fingers. There was also that chance of never regaining the feeling in my hand either. So I went, week after week, doing different exercises and therapies to further strengthen my finger. At first I felt like I was gonna die, certain exercises causing so much pain, I didn't know if I would get through them. But finally I got to hear those words, "Your doing wonderful! You'll be fine not coming back here, good luck to you." I was thrilled to say the least!! My finger didn't hurt anymore to move it. It was just as strong as my other one according to the tests. I had made it!!
